The Red Paladin
by Devil Wolf Girl
Summary: Collection of oneshots centered around Keith! Ranging anywhere from super hyper Keith, to terrifying the aliens with Earth culture. I'm taking requests so feel free to send them in! BTW, its getting hard thinking up clever summaries for the same type of fic. A bunch of oneshots for X fandom.
1. Hyper

**Hyper**

 **Disclaimer ~ I do not own Voltron**

 ***The one where Keith gets super hyper when sleep deprived***

Nobody was prepared for the black and red blur tackling Lance to the ground. Least of all Lance, if the sudden spanish cursing was anything to go by. The red blur dragged Lance to his feet but refused to let go of him. It took a second for Hunk and Pidge to identify said blur as Keith. You never knew with aliens.

"Hiya guys!" Keith exclaimed happily. That alone was enough to send the garrison trio into stunned silence. "Have you been sleeping well?" Keith asked without missing a beat. "Cause I sure haven't! I haven't had the slightest wink of sleep in five days!" Keith was practically vibrating in place as he enthusiastically told them this. He still hasn't let go of Lance. "Have you guys seen Shiro!?" Keith practically yelled at them.

"Kitchen," Hunk answered, still stunned. Keith beamed at him happily.

"Thanks! I gotta ask him something!" Keith yelled. He squeezed Lance tightly before letting him go and running off...in the opposite direction of the kitchen.

"Do you think we have another clone?" Pidge asked helping Lance to his feet. The poor guy was trying to regain his breathing from Keith's death hug.

"I have no idea. We should probably tell Shiro though," Lance suggested after regaining his breathing. The garrison trio turned around and made their way back into the kitchen, much to the bemusement of Shiro, Allura, and Coran.

"You guys just left. Did you forget something?" Shiro asked in "Space Dad" mode.

"We're not sure," Hunk started, "Keith just kinda tackle hugged Lance and was acting super hyper," he explained. Shiro's expression morphed into one of pure fear, something that scared everyone else more than Zarkon.

"Oh god. Please tell me that is just a prank," Shiro begged. Before the other paladins could tell him it wasn't, the subject of their topic bounced into the room. And I mean literally bounced.

"HIYA SHIRO! Guess what!? I found like seven new rooms in the castle! Super cool right! One of them looks like a medieval torture chamber and it's awesome! There's even a mace in there! I didn't know aliens had maces. I used to have a mace, remember? But then Adam saw it and flipped out because kids shouldn't have access to dangerous weapons. I was thirteen. Not a kid. Adam just wanted my mace for himself. Oh yeah! We need to get you back to Earth! Otherwise you are gonna miss your wedding! I would feel really bad for Adam if you missed the wedding. He would have to get married to your picture or something" Keith rambled to Shiro excitedly. Luckily for Shiro, everyone was too concerned about the hyper Keith to comment about all the wedding talk...for now.

"What is wrong with Number 4?" Coran asked cautiously, inching away from Keith slowly.

"Nothing's wrong with me! Why? Does it look like something is wrong? Did I get stabbed again?" Keith's rapid fire questions were halted as he started trying to find a stab wound.

"His...condition is acting up," Shiro started explaining slowly. "When Keith doesn't get enough sleep, he gets insanely hyper. The less sleep, the more energy."  
"So how do we calm him down?" Pidge asked. By this point, Keith had given up looking for the stab wound and was now running his fingers through a frozen (from fear) Allura's hair. Mostly just fear from having Keith so close while he's like this.

"There's only two things that work," Shiro answered keeping a close eye on Keith while he explained. "The first is to catch him and knock him out somehow. That's the harder option because if he feels threatened he will go berserk in trying to escape. It'll be practically impossible to catch him. The second way is to just let him crash on his own. But the problem with that is you never know how long it'll take for him to run out of energy," Shiro explained. During this short explanation, Keith had styled Allura's hair into something you'd see on a cartoon princess from earth. Now he was hugging Lance again. Allura and Coran took this moment to escape. They'd let the earthlings deal with this problem on their own...Bonding and all that. Wouldn't want to intrude. Plus Allura wanted to see what Keith did to her hair.

"H-hey Keith? Buddy. Can you ease your grip a bit?" Lance asked, trying to breath through the crushing hug. Thankfully for him, Keith listened and was more loosely draped on Lance instead of death hugging him.

"Hey guys! What's up?...oh. Nevermind. Sleep deprivation?" Matt had walked into the room at that moment, saw what was going on between the red and blue paladins, and immediately figured out the situation. His was more from personal experience. The last time this happened it was Matt that Keith attached too.

"Sleep deprivation," Shiro confirmed.

"Wait! How'd you know?" Pidge asked her brother in confusion. Matt chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Remember that day I came home from Shiro's and I refused to tell you why I was so disheveled? That was the last time Keith was hyper. He was twelve," Matt shuddered at the traumatic memories from that day. Pidged looked horrified now.

"Shit."  
"Sums it up pretty well actually," Shiro and Matt said without any hesitation.

"What can we do to catch him?" Hunk asked nervously, his voice dropping to a whisper so as to not tip Keith off. The four of them huddled together, oblivious to Lance trying to get their attention.

"Guys?" Lance whisper shouted, trying to get their attention.

They continued to whisper amongst themselves.

"Hunk!"

"Wait a minute Lance."

"Pidge!"

"Busy Lance. Trying to plan."

"Matt!"

"Lance, hang on a sec. We are almost finished with Plan G."

"Shiro!"

"Lance please, let us plan in peace," Shiro begged, finally looking up at Lance.

"There's no point. He's asleep," Lance said smugly. Sure enough, Keith was only being held up by Lance keeping him there.

"Oh," four voices chimed together awkwardly.

"Yeah oh. Can someone help me with him?" Lance shifted to adjust Keith a bit. Hunk, the sweetheart he is, went to help Lance maneuver Keith into a better position to hold/carry him. AKA, the piggy back.

"Wait! Before you go there's one more thing," Shiro quickly stopped them before they could take Keith too far. "Keith won't remember anything that's happened," Shiro told them.

"Soo...Kinda like when you get so drunk you black out and don't remember what you've done at all?" Pidge asked.

"I wish I thought of that comparison. It makes so much more sense than our old one. But yeah, that's basically it," Matt confirmed. With that last warning now in their head, the garrison trio left to put Keith into a proper bed. It was halfway to Keith's room that Lance remembered something specific said during the hyper rants.

"Did either of you know Shiro was engaged?"

 **Finally! The first chapter of the Voltron oneshots is completed! Hope you guys like it! Feel free to send in requests. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter done soon. I want to finish the one for The Librarians that I'm almost finished with before I start anything new though.**

 **Please review! Oh, and Happy Halloween!**


	2. Pick-Up Line

**Pick-Up Line**

 **Disclaimer ~ I do not own Voltron**

 ***The one where Lance flirts with Keith and terrifies Shiro***

Admittedly, it started on a dare from Pidge. Lance, Pidge, and Hunk were in the lounge when Pidge decided to 'help' Lance with his 'relationship' with Keith. Lance wanted nothing to do with it until the gremlin spoke those horrible three words.

"I dare you."

Which brings us to now. Keith should be done with the training room any minute now, then he would get cleaned up before going to the lounge. He did this everyday and no Pidge it was not weird that he noticed this!

Sure enough, fifteen doboshes later found Keith entering the lounge area, fresh from the shower, and attempting to dry his hair. He didn't seem to notice the others at first. If he did, he was ignoring them.

Pidge jabbed her elbow into Lance's side, motioning to Keith silently. Lance shot her a glare which she returned full force. Lance knew he couldn't back down. He was _dared_. If he backed out of the dare then all of his embarrassing secrets would be exposed. Pidge was evil like that. At least Hunk was supportive!

"Hey Keith," Lance called over to where Keith had started talking to Shiro. Both of their attention had turned towards Lance. No backing out now.

"Are you a painting?" Lance asked. Keith (bless his soul) didn't understand. He answered with a confused 'no?' and adorable head tilt. It took all of Lance's willpower not to squeal at the imagine.

"Cause I'd like to nail you against the wall," Lance finished his pickup line with his signature finger guns and a wink.

"Oh thank god," Shiro exclaimed. Upon seeing the confusion from the other four paladins he continued. "I thought you were going to say you wanted to hang him."

There was silence before Pidge busted out laughing. At least Hunk tried to hold his in. Lance sighed dejectedly. Next time he'd ask Shiro how he should flirt with Keith. Better than taking advice from Pidge, dare or not.

 **Okay guys! Just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to only be updating on Sundays now. I'll try to update every Sunday but it's not for just this fic. I will be posting at least one chapter but the fic that gets updated is random at best.**

 **Sorry this chapter is short but I was following the thing I saw on Pinterest. There's only so much I can add before it becomes repetitive in details.**

 **I hope you like it regardless! Please Review!**


	3. Pets

**Pets**

 **Disclaimer ~ I do not own Voltron**

 ***The one where Keith adopts yet another pet***

Samurai: Hey guys. I found a lost dog. Could one of you bring over some dog food?

Chef Hunky: Yeah sure. What size dog?

Samurai: Uhh. Big? I think it's a shepherd mix.

Pigeon: OMG! Send pics! Right now!

Sharpshooter: Agreed! I wanna see the baby!

Samurai: Hang on a sec.

*Samurai has sent a picture*

Sharpshooter: Uhhh Keith?

Sharpshooter: That's not a dog.

Space Dad: Are you kidding me?!

Space Dad: Again?!

Samurai: Shut up Shiro. And of course it's a dog Lance.

Pigeon: That's a coyote Keith.

Chef Hunky: How did you even get it to come home with you?

Space Dad: How do you not recognize you keep getting coyotes?

Samurai: I just said follow and she did? And I don't always get coyotes Shiro.

Sharpshooter: Oooh! I'm sensing a story here! Tell please!

Pigeon: I'm with Lance on this one.

Chef Hunky: I wanna hear this too.

Space Dad: Keith has taken in no less than seven coyotes, fourteen POISONOUS snakes, five non poisonous snakes, three wolves, one dingo, and one cat.

Samurai: You forgot the turtles.

Space Dad: And two turtles.

Space Dad: Wildlife rescue recognizes him on sight because of how often we take the animals there.

Pigeon: I'm at a loss for words

Sharpshooter: Same.

Samurai: Shut up guys. Hunk, can you still grab the food for her? All I have here is...uhh.

Samurai: Canned pineapples.

Chef Hunky: Sure! I'll be over in a few minutes

Sharpshooter: Can we come?

Samurai: I guess

Space Dad: I'll bring pizza

Pigeon: Guess that puts me on movie duty. Lance you bring the after pizza snacks

Sharpshooter: You got it Pidge!

 **As you can tell, I decided to try a different format for this prompt. Yet another idea I got from Pinterest. I couldn't really figure out a good way to do it in my normal writing style so instead you guys got a group chat style.**

 **Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks to everyone that has reviewed!**

 **See you next Sunday!**


	4. He's Just A Child

**He's Just A Child**

 **Disclaimer ~ I do not own Voltron**

 ***The one where Shiro is six***

Admittedly, it started with Pidge and a faulty wire. The green paladin was in the lounge, instead of her usual lab, and tinkering with a their comms. Something about making the design more comfortable for human ears and long term wearing. Anyway, when she went to test the new comm design it ended up being way louder than she had intended. Loud enough that all the paladins could hear the noise it made, even over Pidge's loud screech. She hastily took it out of her ear and threw it to the ground.

"You mother fucker! Piece of shit! You aren't supposed to deafen me!" Pidge yelled as she glared at the device and clutched her ear. Keith let out a dramatic gasp, drawing attention away from Pidge and onto him.

"Pidge! Don't curse in front of the child!" Keith exclaimed.

"What child?" Lance asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I can cuss as much as I damn well please," Pidge said at the same time. Keith gave another offended gasp, his hands moving to cover Shiro's ears.

"Katie Holt! He is just a child. Don't corrupt him with your bad language," Keith scolded. Shiro sighed.

"I never should have told you my birthday," Shiro muttered to Keith.

"Hush child. The adults are talking," Keith didn't take his eyes off of Pidge as he said this. He did, however, remove his hands from Shiro's ears.

"I thought Shiro was the oldest out of all of us? How is he a child?" Hunk asked curiously.

"He's only six. That makes him a child," Keith explained matter of factly. He was still watching as realization appeared in Pidge's eyes.

"Oh god. I am so sorry Shiro. Keith is right. I shouldn't have cursed in front of such a young child," Pidge apologized. Shiro groaned loudly, flopping back against the couch.

"Not you too!"

"Umm. Anyone willing to fill Hunk and I in?" Lance asked.

"Shiro was born on February 29th," Keith said. There was silence for several seconds before Lance busted into laughter.

"You. You have to be kidding!" Lance gasped out between laughs.

"Nope."

"D-don't worry Shiro. We won't let the big bad galra hurt you," Hunk cooed. His words sent Pidge and Keith over the edge, joining Lance in the deep end of laughter.

"I'm leaving. Keith you lead Voltron. I'm gone," Shiro said standing up and starting for the door. This only had the effect of making all of the paladins laugh harder.

"We are h-horrible. Making a child the leader of Voltron," Pidge exclaimed, renewing the laughter from the group.

It took four days before any of the paladins could look at Shiro without giggling, much to the confusion of Allura and Coran.

 **I couldn't resist the temptation of having Keith be a troll to Shiro. In my defense, I was left unsupervised.**

 **Thanks for everyone that's reviewed! I was so excited to see them. Definitely made my day.**

 **Hope you all liked today's chapter! See you all next week!**


	5. Price Of Betrayal

**Price Of Betrayal**

 **Disclaimer ~ I do not own Voltron**

 ***The one where the paladins discuss the price of betraying Voltron***

It had been another long battle with the galra and the paladins were exhausted. But their hunger won over their need to nap, which is why we found the group in the kitchen.

"Keith? You've been glaring at your food this whole time. You okay?" Hunk asked. Attention turned to the red paladin, who didn't react to the words.

"Keith?" Lance placed a hand on his shoulder. Keith jumped in surprise and barely stopped himself from punching Lance. Something everyone noticed and was grateful for. Lance would whine for hours if Keith punched him. Reflex or not.

"What?" Keith look at them.

"You okay?" Shiro asked. Keith tilted his head.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"

"You were glaring at your dinner dude," Lance told him.

"Ahh. I was just thinking. No big deal," Keith shrugged and shoveled some goo into his mouth.

"Now you got me curious. What were you thinking about?" Pidge asked. Everyone leaned toward Keith, who muttered something none of them could hear.

"Mind repeating that?" Shiro asked.

"I said I was thinking of the values you all would be worth if I betrayed you," Keith glared at them.

"...elaborate please," Pidge pushes her glasses further up her nose.

"I'm seriously craving earth food right now. That made me think of that thing where someone says they'd betray you for a single corn chip. And that made me wonder what foods I would accept to betray you guys," Keith explained. He looked at his plate of goo and refused to meet their eyes. If one looked close enough, they could see a hint of a blush creeping up his neck.

"I better be worth at least a bag of corn chips," Lance said, breaking the silence in the room.

"You are worth a bottle of Pepsi," Keith told him. Lance smirked, happy with his worth.

"Ooh! What about me?!" Hunk asked excitedly.

"McDonalds French fries," Keith said. Hunk seemed to drool at the thought of the fries. Keith turned to Pidge, already knowing what she was going to ask. "You are worth a chocolate bar," he said.

"And me?" Shiro asked amused. Keith studied him for several ticks.

"A whole pizza," Keith announced.

"Damn. Shiro has the highest price of betrayal here," Lance groaned.

"Do you think we can convince Allura to open a wormhole to Kerberos and then sneak back to earth and get proper food?" Hunk asked. "Because now that Keith has brought it up I really want some pizza."

"Oh god _please_. Shiro I'm begging you to ask Allura to let us go," Pidge turned her puppy dog eyes onto Shiro, followed by everyone else in the room. That was about the moment Allura and Coran entered.

"You seem to be bonding nicely," Allura said, taking a seat at the table. Coran sat beside her and noticed the looks the paladins were shooting between Shiro and Allura.

"Might I ask what you were discussing before we arrived?" Coran asked.

"What it would be worth for Keith to betray each member of Voltron," Shiro said. All the paladins enjoyed the look of horror that bloomed on the Alteans faces.

 **I don't know why but this made me hungry ;)**

 **Bet you guys thought this was going to be angsty based on the title right? Welp! I couldn't resist a bit of misdirection….and I had no other ideas for a title. Hope you liked it!**

 **Many thanks to previous reviewers and future thanks to future reviewers! I'm still taking requests so if you have one let me know.**


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